Bangkok Hustlin'

All you need to know about Bangkok in three words: Don't get hustled. 

Actually, there was much more to Bangkok than hustlers and scams, so maybe those are just the first three words you need to know. Allow us to explain:

There are lots of scams in the Big Bang. The most under-reported being tourist restaurants selling bland pad Thai for $5 or more in boring, sterile environments when it can be eaten (while having much more fun) in local restaurants or from street-side chefs for about $1.  But, we suppose, overpaying for a ho-hum experience and sub-par food doesn't really count.  One of the more notorious (and real) scams is much more cunning and malicious (though still only harmful to your wallet, time, and pride if you're stupid enough to fall for it):

Wat Pho - We Got In!

A kind stranger approaches you and strikes up a very friendly conversation.  His English is good and he apparently wants nothing more than for you to enjoy your sightseeing experience in Bangkok.  He asks what sight you are going to next.  What's that?  You are going to "fill-in-the-blank?!"  Bummer, it is closed today for a Buddhist holiday.  But don't worry!  Your new friend is more than happy to tell you about some more sights (you've never heard of) that are even better, and today only they are all free!  "You can take tuk tuk for a very cheap price for the entire day," continues the friendly stranger.  Before you know it you are driving around looking at things you don't care about and sitting in high-pressure sales situations in "authentic Thai factories" and shady gem shops.  Your whole day is ruined, at least.  The real goal, of course, is to get you to buy a bunch of crap you don't  need at wildly inflated prices.  The friendly stranger on the street, it turns out, was just a tout, working on commission to get you and your wallet to the gem shops and "authentic Thai factories."

We read about the above scam in our trusty copy of Lonely Planet's ever-popular "South East Asia on a Shoestring" even before we arrived in Bangkok, and (as an added bonus) got to experience the scam in action while walking to our first sight in Bangkok, Wat Pho.  We managed only to experience the first half of the scam, as we never got in the tuk tuk or surrendered any of our precious time or money.  But the run up to the scam happened just like the book said it would:

A really nice gentlemen who was walking our same direction began chatting with us, harmlessly at first.  He was really happy to learn about where we were from, how long we would be in Bangkok, and was just really swell all the way around.  He was kind enough to inform us, after we told him we were going to Wat Pho, that the temple was closed until noon because the royal family was there.  What!? No way?!  His variation on this classic scam threw us off at first, but only for a moment.  We knew exactly what was happening as soon as he mentioned the Thai factory that was open to visitors "today only" for free, and with free beer and coffee.  He had, he deftly informed us, just seen the bit about the factory on the news the night before.  We were beginning to slowly walk away as he began explaining how to identify shady tuk tuks from reliable ones.  Just as he finished, a "reliable" one drove right up to us (imagine that!).  This tuk tuk would take us around the entire city for only about $1.30 for the entire day!

Okay, we both thought, it is time to leave.  We told the gentleman that we would try our luck at Wat Pho anyway.  There was a brief struggle with our map, and the friendly stranger's face turned from bright to dark pretty fast.  But we managed to tear ourselves free and continue on our path, happy in the fact that the past five minutes had been a bigger waste of his time than ours, since the entertainment value of watching the scam unfold exactly as Lonely Planet said it would was extremely high.  The same tuk tuk driver appeared at the end of the street and gave one last half-assed attempt to get us in his vehicle.  We kept on trucking, only to find at least one other friendly stranger who tried to save us from disappointment with news of Wat Pho's closure.  Around the corner, however, we discovered the impossible:  Wat Pho was open, as was every other sight and temple throughout the day!

And Wat Pho was pretty sweet, too.  Wat Pho is one of the largest and oldest wats (temples) in Bangkok and houses the 160ft-long Reclining Buddha (Phra Buddhasaiyas).  This was our first encounter with Thai temple architecture, and we liked it!  Thai temples are brighter and more flamboyant than many other types of Buddhist temples we encountered, as they use lots of gold embellishments and shiny, colorful tiles as decoration.  The sculptures and murals were also different than anything we had seen, and Jeff liked the paintings in particular.  We rounded out our first full day in Bangkok by visiting Wat Phra Kaew and the Grand Palace (which were also closed, according to various characters lurking nearby) - whose highlights include the emerald Buddha (not really emerald), more murals (the best yet), and even more fabulous stupas and temple details (like ornate gold roofs).

The next day we visited another temple, the decrepit and magnificent Wat Arun.  After an hour of wandering and climbingthe steep, crumbling steps of Wat Arun we headed to the river to catch one of the ferries that regularly ply people up and down the Chayo Prata River.  We were immediately struck by how high the water level was.  We had been hearing reports before we left New Zealand about the significant flooding throughout Thailand and that flood waters were threatening the capital.  Indeed, we had already altered our travel plans in Thailand because of the floods.  Thus far, however, we hadn't seen anything amiss.  The scene at the river, however, revealed a different story.  The water level was higher than we were standing, a concrete barrier being the only thing holding the water back.  On the other side of the river, numerous riverside shops and a waterfront park were already under two feet of water.  While waiting for the ferry, water was almost a meter deep in the area around the pier.  We stood crouched on the rickety dock for 45 minutes wondering what would happen if Bangkok's flood situation worsened (indeed, the capital and the rest of the country were hit with even worse flooding in the coming weeks, and Bangkok is still at risk for more severe flooding as we write this nearly a month later).

The ferry finally came, and before we knew it we were in Bangkok's business and financial core.  The buildings are nicer there and you can tell that the majority of the city's money is located there as well.  There is a very striking difference between these two sides of Bangkok.  It is still a city of disparity, with its roots planted firmly in the struggle of the impoverished laborer in search of a better life.  We met up with Locke and stopped into some up-scale malls to hang out with people dressed as sea creatures outside of an aquarium and to check out the Lamborghini, Maserati, and BMW stores (not dealerships, just small shops with a few cars and some bored looking staff members) in the swanky Siam Discovery.  In a crazy "it's a small world" moment, we ran into Jeff's friend Paul at a food court there.  Paul lives in San Francisco, and neither of us knew the other would be in Bangkok.  What are the odds?!?  It was great to see Paul, but we said our goodbyes and headed out into the streets in search of street food and cheaper shopping (and, believe us, there are plenty of both in the Big Bang).  We ended our very pleasant day with Locke in a British-style pub playing Connect Four and darts, pondering the floods, the luck of running into a friend half way around the world, and the subtle greatness that is Connect Four. 

Delicious street-side food.  Seeing Locke after more than two years.  The terrific surprises of the Thai temple architecture.  Running into someone from home half way around the world.  We flew out of Bangkok after four nights really impressed with the big, overwhelming, lively, hustler-filled, delicious mass of raw human energy that is Bangkok.  It's a lot like physics: We don't know exactly how it works, we're just glad it does!

...And how do they get that egg around the pad Thai, anyway?