Things We Liked About China, Part Two

The People!

On the surface Chinese people seemed rough to us.  Chinese culture is so much different from ours, it is jarring at first.  The mentality is that if you don't know someone, they don't exist.  The flip side of that is that once you are in the inner circle, you are IN.  An Australian couple who has lived in Beijing for 6 years explained it pretty well when they pointed out that Christianity (the backbone of much of Western society, whether we recognize it or not) often operates from the golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."   Similarly, Confucianism says: "Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself."  The difference between these two are small, but important.  Following the theory put forth by these Aussies, Chinese people go about their business trying not to cause harm, rather than doing nice, or considerate, things for others.  In other words, you wouldn't want to get hit by a car, so you wouldn't try to hit people with yours.  The Christian version, on the other hand, lends itself more to a somewhat more considerate type of internal dialogue: "I really like it when the other people hold the door open for me, so I will hold the door open for other people."

The seeming lack of Western considerations, or what we call "being polite," makes Chinese culture seem rough.  Chinese are often loud and, because they think differently than us, impolite.  Getting on the metro or waiting in line makes you feel invisible.  Chinese people will run right over you on the way to an opening metro door.  They will also step right between you and the person helping you at the train ticket counter, for instance.  If they don't know you, you don't exist.  On the other hand, if you are a friend, you are family.


The few people we were able to connect with, even just a little, were as charming, and sweet and good-humored as any people you could hope to meet.  Despite grumpy looks on many faces, the Chinese people we encountered more informally liked to joke and had quite high smile-to-frown ratios.  We also had the great luck of meeting some very friendly and helpful folks at hostels and hotels we stayed at.  The gals at our Kunming hostel took the "Awesome Hostel Staff Award" for the month of May by helping us retrieve our camera, lost in the airport of another city, and by presenting Annette with a b-day gift of fruit and candy when we checked out on her birthday.  Often a reluctance to use English and a larger language barrier for English speaking Chinese (compared to Japanese and Koreans) made some hotel and hostel employees seem less friendly or helpful than they really were.  We were always pleasantly surprised by the level and depth of help we received whenever we got stuck, needed a big favor, or needed lots of help planning our next leg of travel.


A real highlight for us in China was riding bicycles through small villages along the Li River outside of Yangshuo.  One reason we loved it so much were the broad, genuine smiles we'd receive from farmers and villagers along the path.  Many of these folks looked as if they would as soon feed us to their pigs as say hello to intrusive tourists, but as soon as we smiled and hollered, "Nihao!" they produced heart-warming smiles so big and real we felt like we were at home.  One older gentleman (not pictured)  won the "Greatest Toothless Smile Jeff Has Ever Seen in His Whole Life" award when he changed instantly from a Grumpy Gus to a guy you'd want as your grandfather as we said hello and an enormous smile, containing three or four teeth tops, spread across his face in the most sincere way.